well its tuesday night and i have been back at school for two days, i am a senior in highschool if you didnt know, and school has been rather eventfull, actually it has been pretty calm and peacefull around the halls. this is strange i say calm and peacefull because it is actually packed with kids, but the peacfullness im feeling i do not think comes from the school itself it is an inner peace. i think this feeling is from a realization that i am in highschool.....fucking highschool, where confused adolescents run around in herds of delusional energy. what are they all running...moving...doing all of this for? a strange phantom is at the control center in their brains, and their body is this phantom's lacky...a slave to whatever strange ideas have past for fact in their minds....in fact this phantom is the mind itself, or an illusion disguised as their 'minds'. that is, the mind that people think lies behind there eyes somewhere in the skull. okkkk...... that was way fucking dragged on.
heres my goddamned life as it is. first day back to school, feeling good! everybody with high energy from being seperated from the whole 'thing' for a while and anxious to be back into things. i dont know if that was the circumstance for my good day or if it was very high energy state. went to bowmaking class first and bullshitted. went to an assembly, before it was opening girls in the foyer and making good progress. went to the auditorium had some high energy discussions. left the foyer to 3rd period. went to lunch with chrissy. tryed talking to girl i sexed at the new years party, she just ignored me, but luckily my high energy stayed high..actually got a power boost, maybe from courage..yeah haha. went to the foyer and talked to some more girls and went to lunch with chrissy. new class! lots of cute girls! very fun flirting with them. umm watched some fencing, played hackey sack, went and drank sangria an some weed, went back to class. school got over an i went to hang out with codi an derrick......oh yeah story over.....fucking lame. next day i will say only some specifics. school. go to lunch with sophi it was fine.....you know what i dont even feel like writing this becuase although i had a good day, nothing really happened. conclusion...I NEED TO MAKE SHIT HAPPEN FUCKING MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!!!! i need ENERGY CONFIDENCE TALKABILITY an i dont give a fuck attitude, no social inhibitions, when i speek to people i need to make them remember it, only talk to them if they are important in your present moment experience, dont try to make small talk with people make BIG talk, or turn that BIG energy into a small intense energy when you want to completely focus in on something your doing. you just need to live with open eyes and your unconscious mind will do whatever it can to make your TRUE intent come true, with razor sharp focus. get into the now and do things that you really want to when you really want to and make no exeptions.being not doing fools. orry if i dissapoint with my strange rather confused mind, it presently sits in lingo, in between what and what i do not know.
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